Chapter 8

“WAKE UP” A voice yelled at me, but I ignored it

“DEEMA YALLA WAKE UP”

“GET THE HELL OUT, SHOUG” I yelled from under my blanket

“STOP BEING SO LAZY AND GET UP” Shoug yelled at me

“NO” I yelled back

“La t9eren de3la yalla gumay khal9ene!”

“Mabe, I want to spend the whole day in bed away from everyone” I said

“Except for me, right?” she said

“ESPECIALLY YOU NOW GET OUT OF MY ROOM” I yelled at her

“we3 youre the worst sister ever. Allah belane fech” She said

“I can live with being that” I said

“yalla 3ad, gumay” she whined

“lesh shtaben fene?”I said finally removing the blanket and looking at her

“Abe a6la3” she said

“Enzain? 6l3ay ana shaku?” I said rolling my eyes at her

“Maa7b a6la3 bru7e” she said

“Ou khl9aw elawadm? Maku ghere eb London kelha? Dawrelech ay a7ad yru7 weyach” I said

“9adgene mu 7uban fech, bas everyones busy. Yalla please. Beside you haven’t been outside the house in so long you probably miss being outside, since you were grounded and all” Shoug said

“Yeah sure” I said and got out of bed and with a sigh I asked, “Where are we going to?”

--

“Selfridges? Really? Sa3a t7nen ou t6ren akher shay Selfridges? 3bale 3ndch salfa btwadene mukan b3eed. Wallah law yaya bru7ch wayd abrak” I huffed

“Deema chub. Seriously just keep your mouth shut the whole time we’re in there, okay? tara yaybtch bas laana ma7b aru7 bru7e wallah”

“3shtw, mat7b tru7 bru7ha, shbe9er y3ne?” I rolled my eyes at her

“Mara7 ard 3lech” shoug said not looking at me “a7san” I said

And that was how it went, we were arguing the whole time we were in Selfridges. And Shoug kept promising that she wont go out with me ever again

“Youre so embarrassing!” She said

“Okay 3yal la takhthene weyach mara thanya” I said

“Hahahaa mengal ene bakhthch?” She fake laughed

“Is that Fahad? What is he doing here?” She said looking out the window, into our house.

The taxi parked and Shoug paid

“He lives next door” I stated

“Okay, bas he’s in our backyard” She said

“He’s probably here for, bsr3a yalla run to your boyfriend” I sarcastically said

“Madre maybe he is” she was actually thinking about it. I almost slapped her but stopped myself

“Heyy!” She said to him as soon as she got out of the car

“Hey. Hey Deema” He said smiling

“How are you?” Shoug asked

“Im great” He answered

I ignored both of them and walked toward the house

“Where are you going!” Fahad called after me

“Shrayk y3ne? bru7 dakhl” I said

“Wait! Did you have lunch?” Why the hell was he asking me this?

“Umm no” I said

“Well then theres this restaurant that has amazing burgers, I was wondering if you wanted to go with me?” he asked

“That’s nice of you, but mom already made lunch, she cant go with you” Shoug answered before me.

“But mom cant cook” I said confused

“But she did, and she asked me to make sure that we both show up for lunch, she even made pasta” Shoug said

“Well, I’m going with Fahad” I said. She’s lying and I know it. My mom never cooks why would she start now?

“Mu lazm elyum” Fahad awkwardly said rubbing the back of his neck

“Yalla Deema, come inside.” Shoug nagged

“If youre free tonight, we can go out for dinner?” he asked

“I am, pick me up at 8” I said and went inside

“what the hell deema!” Shoug yelled at me

“What?”

“I cant believe you asked him out!” she said

“First of all, he asked me out for burgers. Second, its not like theres anything going out between you two, I honestly don’t know why youre angry” I calmly said

“He’s my boyfriend and you know that” she said

“I cant believe you! Youre still lying about this! Look, I know nothing is going on between you two so stop lying” I told her, she stared at me for a minute then said “6lbelech shay taklenah mafe ghada”

“Mu ome msawya pasta?” I said

“Mom went back to Kuwait this morning”

ATHBA7HAA? I SHOULD KILL HER SERIOUSLY.

“Youre a bitch. Jad allah y3ench 3ala nafsch” and walked out of the house.

--
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Chapter 7

I felt like breaking something .
I wanted so badly to throw something against the wall and let it shatter.
I was so angry, angry with Fahad for making me believe that we could happen, with Shoug for loving him and stealing him from me, but she cant steal something from me if it never was mine, I guess.
I was mostly angry with myself, for believing him, for loving him.
Why didn’t I fall for someone else? Anyone else would’ve been better.
But I didn’t fall for someone else, I fell for Fahad and he fell for Shoug. Which is understandable, he cant control who he loves, and even if he could control his emotions, he probably would still be in love with Shoug. She’s much prettier; if I were him I would choose her too.
I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself, my hands were slightly shaking.
It was completely and utterly stupid, this is so pathetic.
He chose her, not you, get over it. He doesn’t deserve all of this; the whole situation doesn’t deserve this.
 --
I closed my eyes for a brief second then walked out of the room, looking for my mom and found her in her room, talking on the phone with someone.
“Am I ungrounded, yet?” I asked after she hanged up. I wanted to go out, badly.
 “No” she said not even looking up from her phone
“But I have to go to Lama’s” I said
“No” she said again
“Its urgent!” I said
“Deema, you’re not getting out of this house until you learn from your mistakes” She said
“You’re taking this way too seriously, I feel like I’m suffocating. We’re in London for god’s sake, I want to go out and enjoy my time here! But you wont let even me get out of the house! Its unfair” I complained throwing my arms in the air
“You’re still grounded, end of discussion. Beside its late, so even if you weren’t grounded I wouldnt let you go out at this time”
“I hate you, I hate each and every single member of this awful family,” I said, and it sounded a bit melodramatic even to me.
“Whatever, as long as you do it silently in your room” She said
I groaned and walked back to my room. Worst. Summer. Vacation. Ever.
 Deema: what are you doing today?
I texted Ryan.
Ryan: working:(
Deema: when does your shift end?
Ryan: late, too late to do anything actually fun at least.
Deema: :( Good luck.
Lama was too scared to go out at night. Which is stupid, what would happen?
So I grabbed my phone and went out alone, through the front door this time-I didn’t care enough if my family saw me going out, what would they do?
I had no idea where I was going, I just kept walking forward.
“What’s a pretty lady like you doing out here at such a time” I heard a voice say, I froze in my place and my heart stopped for a second.
Run the voice in my head told me, and I was about to when a hand grabbed my arm and urged me to turn.
‘I SHOULDVE LISTENED TO LAMA AND STAYED AT HOME. THIS IS WHAT I GET FOR BREAKING THE RULES. I WILL DIE. IM NOT READY TO DIE. SHIT’ my mind was racing with thoughts.
I came face to face with Fahad, and as soon as he saw my face he started laughing.
“Damn you, Fahad, you almost gave me a heart attack!” I said pushing his shoulder, a bit too forcefully but he didn’t seem phased, he just kept laughing, and eventually I laughed, just a bit, too.
“Are you stalking me? Or are you just always out on the streets?” I said raising an eyebrow at him
“Im stalking you” he said grinning
“I knew it!” I jokingly said
“No, I just always catch you going out of the house, and something makes me go out after you.”
“But seriously,” he said “What are you doing out here at such a time? Don’t you know what happens to beautiful women like yourself who are naïve enough to go out unguarded at night?” then he leaned in close enough that I could feel his breath on my cheek.
“It rhymes with grape” he whispered, then pulled away and grinned like a little boy.
I was blushing like crazy, I tried to stop myself but how the hell do you stop yourself from blushing? I started laughing, hard.
“I love your laugh” he smiled
“Thank you” I said I was blushing even harder now.
“I also love how red your face turns when you blush” he said
“Stop!” I said turning away to hide how awfully red my face probably was
“Youre beautiful” he suddenly said very seriously.
For less than a second I though ‘he might actually like me back’  but then I remembered that he doesn’t, and that he loved and is currently in a relationship with Shoug, my sister.
“Careful. What if your girlfriend hears? We don’t want her to misunderstand anything, do we?” I said suddenly not feeling like laughing.
“Girlfriend? What are you talking about?” he asked, he seemed genuinely confused
“You know exactly what I’m talking about” I said
“I know nothing about what you’re talking about” he said furrowing his eyebrows
“Shoug already told me, you don’t have to lie,” I said “I already know that you guys are together”
“What?!” he shouted
“Shhh! La7ad yesme3ek! Etha shafatne ome, bt3a9eb!” I said walking, trying to keep as much distance between the house and I.
“Deema what the hell are you saying! I’m not in a relationship with Shoug! I’m not in a relationship with anyone!” He said.
“Really?” I said looking him in the eye
“Yes, really. I promise Deema, you’ve got to believe me,” he said looking sincere
“Why would Shoug lie to me?” I said furrowing my eyebrows. I was confused; I didn’t know what to believe.
“I have no idea” he said
“She said that she told you she liked you a lot, and you told her that you feel the same way” I said
“She told me that she likes talking to me, and it was the polite thing to say that I like talking to her too,” he said shrugging
I groaned, frustrated with both him and Shoug.
“I’m done talking about Shoug, okay? I’m out here to clear my mind and you’re only making me more confused!” I said a bit too loud
“So unless youre going to shut up about that lying-two-faced-twat, then get the hell away from me!” I continued then walked away, he kept following me though “Twat? Really Deema?” Fahad said laughing
“Why do you keep laughing at me?” I said my lips shaping into a small smile.
“Not laughing at you, but more of laughing because of you?” He said
“Oh, that makes me feel much better” I said nudging his arm
“I forgot to ask you, where were you going?” He asked me
“I don’t know, just wanted to get out”
“But aren’t you grounded?” he asked
“Umm, well, im fine as long as no one finds out” I said
“That’s my girl” he grinned at me
-

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Chapter 6

I sat down on one of the swings of the rusty, old swing set and kicked off, swinging as high as I can, the feeling of the fresh air blowing my hair into disarray was beautiful-but probably didn’t look so beautiful.

 I felt 10 years younger. 

Flashbacks rushed through my head, from when Shoug and I used to sit here and would compete over who could swing the highest, she always won, until one day I did and she smiled and said “I let you win” I laughed and said “Don’t be a sore loser”

Mom would call us back into the house as soon as the sun starts to set down and would make us lemonade, dad would tell us stories about his childhood while we waited for the lemonade to finish. 

But these days are over, there are no stories left to tell, Dad is barely around and Shoug thinks she’s too old for the swing set but I still swing here every once in a while.

I closed my eye, taking in the feeling, wishing that I could go back in time and re-live these amazing moments,
When I opened my eyes I was taken back by Fahad’s presence, he was leaning against the skeleton of the swing set and smiling at me.
“I didn't know you were here” I said
“Hello to you, too” he said laughing
“Hi” I said blushing
“Hi” he said
“Hi” I said, then realized that I’ve already said that, I hope he didn’t notice
“You already said that” well I guess he did
“I know” I said blushing again. God Im embarrassing!
“I haven’t seen you in a while, where have you been?” he asked sitting on the swing next to the one I was sitting on
“Locked in there,” I said pointing at the house “I was grounded, actually I still am”
“Typical” he said laughing
“Don’t laugh at my misery” I playfully glared at him
“Please accept my apologies,” he said and bowed
“I’ll think about it”

The sound of the music that was blaring through my iPhone was the only thing you can hear.

Neither one of us said anything for a minute, and it was getting awkward, i was trying to squeeze out something to say to fill the silence when Fahad spoke
“So you’re off to collage in 3 months” he said

Really? thats what we're going to talk about?
“Please don’t remind me, I’m already so nervous but very excited, is that weird?” I said
“Not at all, but you don’t have anything to be nervous about, which collage are you going to?”
“Some collage around here” I said
“Oh! I thought you were going to study in Kuwait,” He said
“You thought wrong” I said
“Why?” he said
“I don’t know, I like being here and I just want to get away from everyone back in Kuwait for a while.” I said looking down.
“Is everything okay?” he asked
“Sure” I said and we both looked up as we heard a car pull up. Shoug made her way out of the taxi and immediately lit up when she saw Fahad.
“Fahad! Hi!” she said making her way to where we were sitting after paying the taxi driver and pulling out a lot of bags out from the car.
“Hey” Fahad said, and suddenly I felt like I third wheel.
I was standing up to make my way back into the house when I heard her ask “What were you guys doing”
Fahad said “Nothing, where were you?” and she went on about her wonderful day in the mall with her wonderful friends and the wonderful clothes she bought from the wonderful stores she went into.But all I heard was nothing, because that’s what we are, we are nothing, and that’s what I mean to him nothingIt’s a mixture of stupid and awful how much little words can hurt.

I walked back to the house without looking back, scared of what I'd see if I did.


---


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Chapter 5

At 11 I took a shower and left my hair naturally curly, threw on a pair of skinny jeans and a random shirt, applied some eyeliner and lipstick and I were ready to go.
‘I’m here’ Ryan texted me, he has parked a street away from where I was staying just to make sure my parents don’t see me getting in his car.
I sighed, made sure the door was locked and opened the window.
There was a fire escape ladder right outside my window so sneaking out was a piece of cake.
“Grounded, huh?” Ryan smirked as I climbed into his black pickup truck
“Ugh don’t even remind me,” I said turning on the radio
“So why are you grounded?” He asked
“Stupid shit; staying out all day, not coming back home, talking back to my sister” I said
“That could get you in jail” he joked and I laughed
--
As soon as we got out of the car a small group of people came toward us, a girl squeaked and hugged Ryan.
“I missed you!” She said when she let go
“You saw me before yesterday” he said not showing slight interest in her.
“Still! Who’s this?” She said turning to me raising an eyebrow
“I’m Deema,” I said
“Why are you here” she said looking annoyed, I don’t even know the girl’s name and she’s seriously asking me why I’m here! Really?
“Be nice, Beth, She’s with me” Ryan said.
Beth? No wonder she’s so crazy. I would be too if my parents named be that.
“How come I’ve never seen you around before? Do you live near?” Another girl asked
“No, I live thirty minutes away from here, and I only come here on August” I said
“OH, is that the girl you wont shut up about?” A guy said nudging Ryan
 “Shut up” Ryan said
 The girl came closer to me and said, “I’m Allison by the way, and that’s Jake. And just ignore Beth she gets a bit crazy when it come to Ryan, she’s had a huge crush on him since like seventh grade” Allison said smiling at me
“I’ve dealt with much crazier people,” I said smiling back
--
“That was so much fun! “I said after the concert finished adrenaline surging through my body
“Yeah it was” Beth said, she was clinging to Ryan the whole time, it was a bit sad since Ryan kept pushing her away, I don’t think he ever realizes she likes him. Boys“You ready to go?” Ryan asked me
“Sure” I said shivering, it was freezing
“Here” Ryan took off his jacket and handed me the soft warm material
“Thank you” I said and said goodbye to Allison and Jake
“We have to meet up some other day,” Allison said
“Yeah totally” I said and we exchanged our phone numbers and each headed their way
--
“I can’t believe its 3am already!” I said when we pulled up in front of my house
“If my parents catch me, they’ll kill me”
“That’s why you’ll be careful and they wont catch you,” He said
“I hope so” I mumbled and got out of the car as quietly as I can and slowly made my way back up to my room the same way I got out.
Thankfully no one noticed I was out, or else they probably would’ve been still up.
--
The next morning I made my way downstairs to have breakfast.
“You were very quiet last night” My mother said when I sat down on the table
“I slept early,” I said
“I hope you thought about what you did,” She said calmly
“I did” no I didn’t
“And?” She said with a raised eyebrow
“You wouldn’t like what I’ve got to say” I said grabbing a glass of orange juice
My mother sighed in frustration and said “You’re so difficult, Deema, Do you even realize how difficult it is to be your parent?”
“I appreciate your honesty” I said, “Where are Dad and Shoug?”
“Your dad had to get back to Kuwait and Shoug is out with her friends,” My mother said
“Oh, it was nice seeing him for like ten minutes I don’t even know why he bothered to come if he was just going to leave the next morning” I mumbled
“Deema! Your father is trying! And you’re not making it any easy for him! I wish you were more like Shoug” My mother sighed
 “Well I’m sorry for being my own self!” I said sarcastically and made my way back to my room with my breakfast.
This is so frustrating

-
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Chapter 4

“Where the hell were you! I was worried sick! You were out all day and you haven’t even texted to called! I thought something happened to you!” My sister started yelling as soon as she saw me

“Oh calm down, I was out” I said taking off my coat

“Obviously! You are so irresponsible; you could’ve said that you were going out! Where were you?”

“You are not my mother, therefore I’m not obliged to tell you anything. Beside I’m 18 not 8 so stop treating me like a child!” I yelled back

“I will stop treating you like a child when you stop acting like one! Now answer my question where were you and with who” she said crossing her arms

“I don’t have to explain myself to you” I said

“I’m going to tell mom,” she said

“Do you know how childish that sounds? Beside go ahead I really don’t care, its not like she can do anything all the way from Kuwait” I said sitting on the couch and grabbing the remote to the TV

“Damn it, Deema. Until our parents get here, I’m the one responsible for you. And she may not be able to do anything from Kuwait but I can. Go to your room” she said turning off the TV

I started laughing at her

“You do realize that you’re only 2 years older right?” I said grabbing my bag and heading back out

“What the hell is wrong with you? Is this about what I told you?” she said

“Not everything is about you, Shoug. Stop acting like a drama queen and let me go, I want to be alone for a while” I said suddenly quiet

“Only if you tell me where you were”

“I was in the café near the bookshop.” I lied, for some reason I really didn’t want to tell her about Mishare, I was afraid she was going to steal him from me if she found out about him, it was stupid but she did steal away Fahad from me...

“All day?” she said

“Yeah, I was reading. Just let me go now,” I said hurrying out the door

--

“Its not fair” I cried into Lamas shoulder as she stroked my hair

“I really liked him and I thought he liked me too. Its like one minute he makes me feel like the most precious, special girl in the whole world and the other he makes me feel as if I’m nothing, like I never meant anything to him and its so hard because I really thought he liked me and when she told me that they’re together I felt my heart crumple” I said tears streaming down my face

“He is so stupid. Any guy would be crazy lucky to have you, you are seriously the most amazing girl”

I got up and looked at my reflection in the mirror

“I never thought I’d be crying over a guy, a fictional character yes, but a guy?” I said wiping away the tears feeling ashamed of myself.

“You want to stay over tonight?” Lama asked, god I love this girl.

I’m so lucky to have her in my life, she knows me better than I know myself.

“Yeah” I said

Lama is the youngest child; she has two older brothers who both study aboard, one in France and the other in Ireland.

Her parents don’t like traveling much so they never come to London but she loves it here so she comes every summer and stays at the apartment her parents bought for her.

“She acts like she’s my mother, it’s annoying. I’m an adult I can take care of myself. I hate her,” I said pulling out an ice cream tube from the freezer.

“You don’t hate her”

“Yes, I do”

And then my phone started vibrating alerting me that I got a new message

‘Hey’ the text said

“Is that Shoug?” Lama said sitting on the counter next to me

“No, it’s a strange number, it says ‘Hey” I said furrowing my eyebrows

‘Who’s this?’ I texted back

?? : ‘Already forgot about me? I feel offended’

Me: Oh my god Mishare, sorry, it’s just been a tough day

?? : You okay?

Me: Sure

“Mishare?” Lama asked with a raised eyebrow

“He’s just some guy I hung out with today”

But he wasn’t, he wasn’t just some guy that I hung out with.

I felt something when I was with him, I don’t know what but there was something.

“Is he hot?”

“Very, very hot. He has the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen, even better than Fahad’s and tanned skin and dark hair” I was blushing like crazy

“Just some guy, huh?” Lama said laughing

“We should watch a movie,” I said

“Way to change the subject, what movie do you want to watch?” She asked

“Anything but romance” I sighed and threw myself on the couch.

-

I woke up to the sound of the phone ringing very, very loudly

“Answer your phone” Lama groaned from the couch next to the one I was sleeping in, we must have fallen asleep watching the movie

“You answer it,” I mumbled burying my face in the pillow

“ANSWER THE GOD DAMN PHONE, DEEMA” She yelled

“Don’t yell,” I mumbled

“If you don’t answer it I swear that Ill throw it out of the window”

“Who’s this and what do you want?” I said

“You’re asleep?”

“I was until you woke me up” I said

“Its 3pm!”

“What the hell do you want, Ryan?” I said sitting up.

Ryan is my guy friend; I met him 7 years ago when we first bought the house, he’s 21 years old now.

“You free today?”

“Yeah, why?”

“There’s a concert tonight, you up for it?”

“Hell yeah”

“I’ll test you the details, see you tonight” he said hung up.

Lama looked at me shaking her head

“What?” I said

“Ryan? Really?” Lama said

“Stop being such a buzz kill” I said getting up from the coach

Lama has never agreed with my decisions but she has never judged me either.

“You know I don’t like him,” She said

“He’s bad, you shouldn’t hang out with him,” She continued

She hates Ryan, but she doesn’t really know him like I do. She thinks he’s a bad influence, but beneath all his ‘bad boy’ look he’s actually really good and he’s very strong, he has went through a lot in his life, and I admire him for that.

--

I was surprised to see both my parents and my sister waiting for me in the living room when I got in

“Hey Mom and Dad, I thought you guys weren’t coming until next week?” I said heading to the kitchen to get something to eat

“Where do you think you’re going?” My mother asked

“To the kitchen?” I said but quickly said “Or not, its totally fine really” after noticing how furious she was

“We had to change our flight because of your reckless behavior, where were you all day long yesterday!” My mother shouted.

My dad’s phone started ringing so he went out to answer, thank god.

“I can explain,” I said

“Please do enlighten me,” She said gesturing me to sit down

“Don’t you want some tea first? I know you British people love your tea and maybe some crackers?” I stalled

“Answer the question Deema!” My mother shouted

“I was at a cafe reading a book, why is this such a big deal” I said glaring at my sister, I cant believe she told on me, she just broke the #1 rule in the sisters book

“All day long?” my mother asked with a raised eyebrow doubt filling her voice

“Yeah, I read the fault in our stars again, I really don’t know why you’re so mad, you all know how much I like reading beside isn’t reading good?” I said rolling my eyes as if it’s the most stupid thing ever

“And where were you all night long?” My mother asked

“At Lama’s! She was having some trouble, well her parents were having trouble which made her really depressed, she was crying really hard, and I waited for her to calm down then we watched a movie then we fell asleep, we watched Silver linings playbook you should watch it its-“ I rambled, because I knew she would just cut me off.

“Okay, okay, enough. Deema you have to respect your sister! She’s bigger than you and what you said to her is completely disrespectful! So you’re grounded for a week,” My mother said

“What! That’s completely unfair. I didn’t do anything!” I jumped up

“You disrespected your sister, stayed out all night long without telling anybody, I’m pretty sure a week is good unless you want to be grounded for a month?” My mother

“No” I mumbled

“Now go to your room” I got up and walked toward my room but stopped at where my sister was standing first, she was avoiding any eye contact

“I hate you,” I said low enough so my mother doesn’t hear but loud enough so Shoug hears.

--

I was lying in my bed playing with my phone, with music loudly blasting from the speakers.

My phone vibrated

Ryan: Concert starts at midnight, you still coming right?

Me: Of course I am, I need a ride though

Ryan: Ill pick you up at 11:45, you better be ready by then

Me: I will be